yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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