I skipped work to stalk him.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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