So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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