i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
