Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
