I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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