hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize