the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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