We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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