if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
