The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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