Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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