Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
should my penis look like a turkey
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
