Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
