What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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