New game: find the sober person in Tbell
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
pray to the hookup gods
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize