If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
