yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
