Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
