Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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