i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
