Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize