what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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