If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just found puke in my bra..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
