Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
