That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
