I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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