is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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