No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
