yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
