How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
