so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
