So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
jump out the window naked night went bad
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
