Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize