Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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