just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
