She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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