It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
