i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
