you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
