Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
