Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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