Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
