Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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