Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
