I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
