She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
