I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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