She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
