Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
