I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
