And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
