I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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