dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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