Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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