seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
