What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
